I really am on a 90’s kick aren’t I?  I guess I just can’t help myself, I’ve been reminiscing about this time in my life a lot lately.  Especially because my twelve year old daughter asked for her first pair of classic black Doc Martens and got a poster of Kurt Cobain for her birthday just a few months ago.  She is now completely obsessed with Nirvana.  When did a little mini me sprout up?  I swear it’s like I’m reliving my youth all over again.

And with Mallrats I get to live a little more of the good old 90’s life.  And if there is one thing that I love about this movie it’s the characters. There is Jay and Silent Bob, it wouldn’t be a Kevin Smith movie without them (and of course since Silent Bob IS Kevin Smith…well you get the picture). And if you are a comic book fan, Stan Lee makes an appearance as well.  If you haven’t seen any of his movies you really should.  They are fun and witty in a way that you always wanted to be when you were that age.  I don’t think, vocabulary nut or not, that I was nearly as eloquent as Brody (Jason Lee) and T.S. (Jeremy London).  I wanted to be, but writing snappy dialogue when you have time to think it up is a lot different than spewing it out in real time.

As the name implies, this movie is about some young (ish) kids who essentially spend all of their free time at the local mall (with the notable exception of when they go to hide at the flea market).  The scene with the topless fortune teller is seriously priceless.  Even more priceless is when your friend who has never seen the movie chooses to walk in during that scene.  Yeah, that was entertaining for sure. Both of the main characters have been broken up with by their respective significant others.  Brody because he is a lazy unapologetic bum who only cares about video games and comic books.  Rene (Shannon Doherty) is rightfully fed up.  Especially when he only lets her come over through the basement window when his mom is not around to see her.  T.S. gets the axe because he has the misfortune of being hated by Brandi’s father.

Brandi (played by Claire Forlani) has to fill in for a contestant on her father’s game show on the same day they were supposed to go to Florida.  T.S. Is rightfully bummed out because he plans on proposing to her…(when Jaws comes up out of the water…how romantic).  Even though it was partially his fault that the contestant couldn’t make it (um yeah, she died but I’ll let you find out how when you watch the movie).   Then Brandi gets pissed that he is being obstinate about wanting her to go with him to Florida regardless of the game show, that she breaks up with him (I thought that was a bit shallow…but hey I didn’t write the characters).

The game show is to take place at the infamous mall, where a giant stage is being erected and set up to accommodate a live audience.  Brandi’s father and the feared security guard La Fours, stalk back and forth by the stage watching for miscreants.  Two said miscreants Jay and Silent Bob are on a mission to destroy the stage and sabotage the game show for T.S. so he can win back Brandi.  And hopefully not be blamed for the mess. Their attempts (which fail rather spectacularly) are seriously funny.  And then there are the recurring jokes that run throughout the course of the movie.  In particular poor William (Ethan Suplee) spends the entire day trying to see a sailboat in one of those magic eye pictures.  Sprinkled throughout the flick you have mall patrons standing their for less then a minute, saying ooh a sailboat and then walking away.  William has a few notable freak outs about it, and one of them even helps out Brody (but I won’t tell you why!)

There are many more shenanigans that ensue.  The movie takes some interesting turns with little side plots that should guarantee to make you giggle.  If you don’t laugh (or cringe) at the topless fortune telling scene we can no longer be friends.  Seriously.  This isn’t my favorite movie by the iconic Kevin Smith, but it is a damn good one nonetheless.


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